Let me be upfront and say, I am not sure I read this book well. However, in my opinion, this is my first read in what I believe is going to be a very long journey. Therefore, I have decided to cut myself a little bit of slack in this regard. So, before I delve into the literary commentary and try to parse out some of what I read, I’m going to go ahead and tell you the story of the journey.
Yesterday (or June 16, 2022 depending on when it is now), I returned home from what I can only describe as an I don’t know how I’m going to describe it trip to Ireland. Over the next “however long it takes to process all of the things I got to learn do and see and more importantly all the people I got to meet while I was there”, I will tell you about that trip. Today, I want to tell you how much I fell in love with the idea, history, culture, and the people of Ireland and how it is affecting my academic journey going forward.
I realized while I was there that I had never read anything by James Joyce. In fact, the only piece of classical Irish literature I can remember reading is Oscar Wilde’s The Portrait of Dorian Gray. I also realized that I couldn’t tell you when I read it or very much about it. Standing in front of the first printed edition of Ulyssesand then in front of the case that displayed Joyce’s writing notes, I felt a desire to know more about the literature of the Irish. Over the course of the month-long research project, that desire grew.
I am not yet able to put into words exactly what this feeling is or where it comes from. If I had to guess, I would assume it comes from various places. I have reason to believe the majority of my ancestry comes from that part of the world. While my Hawaiian self has always been loved and honored, the rest of my heritage has been lumped into a generic whiteness, a nondescript, unidentified throw-off of maybe Celtic, maybe Anglo Saxo, maybe Scottish, maybe Irish. It now appears that Ulster is the most likely. Whatever it turns out to be, my experience this past month has taught me that there is no genericness when discussing the history of a people, a community, a person. In this learning, I have encountered assumptions and shattered ideas and stereotypes while understanding the root from which some of them have originated.
Most formidable, I discovered a love of the people of Wexford, Ireland. I am blessed that whatever attracted me to them, they saw in me as well. There was no long path to friendship. We just kind of clicked.
I am not a history major. I will not pursue historical studies per se in my graduate work. I am a literature major (I have decided that calling it “English” is problematic and will refrain from doing it except as it is needed for technical clarity). My time for graduate work will be upon me before I know it. I will need to pursue something.
My ideas for thesis and graduate work have changed a number of times over the last year or so in school. In each case, it was not the topic that I considered that gave me pause, but rather the constraint of the work that would logically follow. I am fortunate that my studies can be mostly self-directed as there is no CV as such that I am trying to curate. I am in the privileged position of allowing my excitement, passions, and interests to lead the way in my academic pursuits. Unfortunately, each of my thoughts has floundered on the limited, whether it be in scope, topic, or theory. While this is to be somewhat expected when a focus is decided upon (for a focus you must have), I knew if I kept my mind open, a better way would present itself.
I believe I found my answer in the Irish Literature focus. With this pivot, the opportunities open for a variety of conversations versus closing them. Instead of focusing on a time period, a social implication, or a theory, I can focus on a geography, a community. I think I have found the path to creating the freedom to explore different avenues while canvasing the Irish literature offerings.
It occurred to me that one could pick worse starting points than Ulysses. In preparing to tackle this mammoth work that is considered one of the great literary classics, I learned that the secondary protagonist, Stephen Dedalus, is the primary protagonist in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. If you have followed any of my series writings before, you know I had to back up and change my starting point.
Interestingly, I found an unabridged reading by Colin Ferrell. It was an experience to listen to the words while I read them. I will get back to that in a later writing. For now, I will tell you that the juxtaposition has created a need for a complete rewrite of my thesis proposal that I submitted last semester. While I am a bit anxious about that, I have firmly decided that it is better to do the rework now than to spend the next year working on something else and wishing I wasn’t.
I found the stream of consciousness style used by Joyce a bit difficult to follow in the beginning. After a while, it did get easier. Still, on the whole, I began to get a little frustrated with myself if not the work. I am not accustomed to fiction being difficult to follow or understand. However, more often than not, I could not escape the feeling that Joyce had done something beautiful and smart, and I was missing it.
I now know that “missing it” isn’t quite the right description.
I am still a foreigner in a foreign land. There is much of their language, culture, history, and community that I don’t understand and am not familiar with. Perhaps it is that assumption of generic whiteness that kept me from considering the work I would need to do to understand the nuances of the art. Perhaps it was timely that I learn that my American perspective cannot be transplanted on every other Eurocentric culture as cross-compatible simply because I think it should be.
So, I will focus on A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man until it gives me what I am looking for and I can move on, or until it creates the foundation for future studies on its own merit. I am not sure which it will accomplish, but I can assure you I will not be disappointed either way.
In the meantime, I will not halt the exposure to the voices. I will begin to tackle Ulysses. I have introduced myself to the work of Charles J. Kickham, John Boyne, and Sebastian Barry. When I look at it in print like this, I realize how little work I have done in the grand vision of things. Then I remind myself – this is only my first day home.
To close the loop, I realize I didn’t get into any actual literary commentary surrounding A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Maybe because I think I have covered enough ground for today. Most probably because I realized I didn’t really have any – yet.
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